On the Mountain

Just being.

I don’t know about you, but sometimes I get messages which I can’t get out of my head until they are actually done. One time, about 20 years ago when we lived on Mallorca, I got a pretty challenging message. I had seen a documentary about Native Americans who went out into the forest without food, and didn’t come back until they had connected with their spirit animal.

Anyway I asked my neighbour if he knew about a mountain top where I could sit for three nights and days without having anyone come walking past me. He was a true hiker and knew most mountains on Mallorca. After a few days, he came and told me he got the perfect spot for me. We went on a day hike and checked it out. It was stunning! On the west coast of Mallorca with views over the sea and the sun setting in the horizon.

My plan was to bring a tent, some dried fruit and nuts, and water. This was in August, and Mallorca, Spain, is super-hot during that period. I could not bring a phone, a book, pen and paper, or even a watch—basically, nothing that could keep my mind off just being. I would not allow myself to walk around in nature. I was to sit still for three days and nights. Not an easy task for a doer like me and so for me, it was more about connecting within myself. Yet this was a few years before I got into meditation and the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, the science of the mind. This would have been a different experience, if I had the tool of meditation.

So the day came, hubby and our dog helped me up the mountain in the morning to my spot. We said goodbye and then they left me to be. I could not connect with him, nor could he connect with me during these days. But he knew where I was.

Day 1. When I saw them walking down, at first I felt, this will be easy. Gorgeous weather, a beautiful view, very quiet on a mountain top. Piece of cake. Then boredom kicked in. I sat outside my tent watching the ants being very busy. I ate some nuts and drank a little water. I realized very quickly that my total of three litres of water was not a well thought through plan. In the August heat, you should drink that per day. But nothing to do, no one was coming with more water, and I was far from home. So one litre per day it was.

Day 2. Woke up after a good night’s sleep in my little tent, very frustrated and angry. With thoughts like, “what a stupid idea this was, what the hell am I doing here, this is crazy.” Time goes very slow when you just sit and are not allowed to do ANYTHING. Just being. I kind of spent that entire day being in that mood. Just wanting the time to pass fast, so I could be picked up. I didn’t know what time it was, but I knew what time the sun set, and that felt like a blessing. Phew, one day closer to getting back home. Fed up watching the ants who just carried on with their little lives.

Day 3. Felt a little better, but still super bored and just wanted the time to fly. I love nature, and being in the energy of it always gives me a lot of fresh vitality. But even though sitting in this beautiful spot, I had a hard time appreciating it. At this time, I also started to feel dirty and really needed a shower. I knew I could do these three nights without washing. But it’s still not a nice feeling, especially in the August heat. Oh, how I wished we had brought some more water up the mountain. Yet the sunset was stunning, and I slowly started to feel at peace.