What are Insecurities?

Let's take a lighthearted approach to discussing insecurities!

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Insecurities, oh boy! We've all heard about them, but sometimes they can be a bit confusing. So, let's dive into this topic and its mysteries together!

Insecurities are like those little fears that sneak up on us when we least expect them. They're those uncomfortable thoughts, popping into our heads and making us doubt ourselves. In a nutshell, insecurities are just fear in disguise. Sneaky, right?

Now, let's take a peek at some common fears that fuel our insecurities. The fear of not being smart enough, the fear of failure, the fear of letting others down, and the fear of being inadequate. They're like unwelcome guests crashing our self-esteem party.

I'll let you in on a secret, I have a big insecurity about my intelligence. Yeah, that little voice in my head keeps telling me that I'm not as clever as those around me. It's like a fear that I'm an imposter in the blogging field, especially as a writer. It comes from a school trauma I had as a kid. Fear, fear, and more fear!

But here's the thing, our insecurities are often tied to our perceived limitations or weaknesses, whether they're true or not. For example, you might feel insecure about money, because you've never made a lot. Or you can be insecure about your intelligence, like me, because you don't have a fancy university degree. It's like these limits or lacks which we impose on ourselves become the breeding ground for our insecurities.

Insecurities are also closely tied to our belief systems. They're the stories we tell ourselves, over and over again, about who we are and what we're capable of. You know those negative narratives that play on repeat in your head? They can go something like this: "I'm forever going to be fat", "I'm just not smart enough to absorb information", or "I'll never make enough money because of XYZ." We hold onto these stories like they're gospel, and they end up controlling our lives.

And if you hear that sly word "enough" in your head, chances are it's an insecurity talking. Not cool enough, not smart enough, not educated enough, not brave enough, not pretty enough... the list goes on. It's like the never-ending comparison game that we all seem to love playing.

Now, let's talk about self-doubt, the granddaddy of all insecurities. It's that feeling of not being equipped to do or be something, constantly questioning our abilities, and fearing the consequences of trying something new.

So, how do these pesky insecurities show up in our lives? Well, there are a few tell-tale signs to look out for:

Shame: When you feel these burning cheeks and racing heart of shame, your insecurities might be at the forefront. For me, that shame often creeps in when I'm proven wrong or when I feel clueless in a conversation, triggering that old narrative of "you're not smart enough."

Emotional Triggers: Insecurities aren't just about shame. Anytime emotions like sadness, anxiety, anger, or jealousy flare up, it could be a sign that your insecurities are being poked and prodded.

People as Mirrors: Have you ever noticed that what you judge or dislike in others might reflect something you dislike about yourself? It's like our insecurities manifest in the form of judgment. Quite a mind-bender, right?

Inner Dialogue: Our thoughts can be pretty chatty, and sometimes those negative ones go on a rampage, highlighting our insecurities and fears. So, pay attention to these recurring thoughts and give them the side-eye they deserve.

Puffing Up and Shrinking: When you feel the urge to defend yourself by bragging or puffing up your accomplishments, it might be a sign that your insecurity has been triggered. On the flip side, if you shrink down and feel smaller when someone says something, it could mean you're feeling insecure too.

Insecurities suck. But guess what? We all have them. We all carry doubts, fears, limiting beliefs, and emotions that stick with us like stubborn chewing gum on a shoe. The key is to be aware of them, so we can deal with them better and recognize when they try to creep up on us. So don’t give up - you've got this!

Until next week. Stay grateful and curious.

Much loves,

Kim